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How To Ignore People Who Try To Darken Your Brightness

Sai Kardile May 25, 2020
As much as we love reading and sharing motivational quotes and articles, we cannot turn our back on the universal truth—that our life is chock-full of complications, stress, and worries of all ilks.
So, when we are already grappling with our own exquisite assortment of 'hot mess', why weigh ourselves down more by putting up with people that try to darken our brightness?
The operative word of the modern world is mental health. And sometimes, for the sake of our mental and emotional well-being, we have to ignore people who try to dim our light.
No matter how you slice it, it cannot be denied that there are certain individuals—could be a friend, colleague, even a family member who seems to deplete your reservoir of positive energy.
A 10-minute call or an hour spent with them is enough for you to feel emotionally enervated. They feed off of your empathy and readiness to listen to their endless problems, rants, and general misery.
They sap you of your energy and positivity, leaving you feeling unhappy, depressed, or worse—stressed. The best way to deal with them? To ignore them. Period.
Keep your eyes and mind wide open
To ignore people who rob you of positive energy—it's important that you identify who they are. Many a time, without us realising we allow ourselves to be consumed by other people's web of unhealthy behavior. We think we are at a safe distance from their drama, theatrics, and peculiarity—but, that isn't the case.
By lending an ear to someone, you initiate an exchange of energy. So, if conversing or listening to someone gives you a headache, fills you with negative thoughts or ticks you off—it's a sign that this person is overwhelming you, and needs to be ignored.
Don't get sucked into their "I'm hapless" narrative
Those with a chronic need to be heard and consoled often invent narratives that portray them as hapless sufferers. No matter how earnestly and sincerely you try to help them, their problems seem too convoluted to have any possible solution. And that is because—those problems are self-created.
Negative people who are already convinced that their complications are not within your ability to solve should be left on their own. It may sound harsh and heartless, but sometimes to safeguard your mental health you have to ignore people who relish the idea of being a perpetual victim.
Don't invest in them emotionally
The reason why someone affects us is primarily because of our emotional investment in them. Once you realise that a certain individual isn't healthy for your emotional health, it is wise not to allocate your energy in them. When they come to you with their complaints and rants, be at your neutral, noncommittal best. Let it go in one ear and out the other.
Draw clear boundaries
This goes without saying. People who have a tendency to dim other people's light continue doing that unbeknownst to them. While you may be tempted to help them out with their skepticism and toxicity, it is most likely to boomerang and invite their aggression and hostility.
Avoid being with them in private as well as in a group as much as possible. If it happens to be someone from your family you cannot ignore, take charge of the conversation from the get-go by politely telling them that you have limited time to converse. This way you will be in control of your time and mood.
If possible sever your ties with them
Your mental and emotional well-being should always be your first priority and we can't stress this enough! If a certain someone's presence, attitude or behavior causes you to feel stressed or drained, your mind is giving you a clear signal that you need to keep yourself away from them.
If cutting them from your life altogether is an option for you, we see no reason why you shouldn't do it for the sake of your happiness and peace.
What you need to remember at the end of the day is that you don't owe anyone your energy and time to pull themselves out of their pickle.

You have your own exquisite hot mess to take care of and a lifetime journey of personal growth to keep going on. Tell yourself this—"I don't need to keep shining my light on those who darken my brightness."